Posted by pegasus on October 26, 2004, at 11:28:26
In reply to What your T does when you cry?, posted by Skittles on October 25, 2004, at 22:31:15
My old T would become quiet when I really cried, and would interject comforting statements like, "You're doing great. I know this is really hard" in a really soft voice. I liked that approach. If he'd tried to hug me, I definitely would have felt very uncomfortable.
My new T usually ends up crying herself when I cry. Which was really disconcerting for me at first, but then we talked about it, and now I'm pretty much ok with it. She says that she hasn't figured out a way to stop her own crying in these situations. In a way it's nice, because I know that I touched her in a real way. On those crying days, she usually touches me on the shoulder on my way out and says something comforting about taking good care of myself.
I think Ts are in a hard spot when it comes to situations like this. Because some people would feel awful if they were bawling and the T didn't offer a hug, or a pat, or something. But some people would feel awful if they did.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:407238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/407439.html