Posted by Crazy_Charlie on November 1, 2004, at 11:05:34
In reply to What your T does when you cry?, posted by Skittles on October 25, 2004, at 22:31:15
> I'm wondering how all of your T's respond when you cry. And I don't mean just a couple of tears. What I'm interested in is that kind of bawling where you are sobbing and gasping for breath.
>
> I ask because someone in the threads above mentioned that their T simply sat there watching! This is the very reason I censor my tears so much in therapy. I'm afraid of sitting there weeping with no physical contact. It makes the sobbing all the more sad, isolating and desperate - for me, at least. I'm not saying I want to be held. That would certainly make me uncomfortable. But a hand on the arm or shoulder would be nice. And I'm not sure that words alone would be enough for me.
>
> Yes, I posted previously that my T is special. I still firmly believe she is. I just don't know how she would respond if I let this flood of emotion out. I'm afraid if I do, I'll only end up feeling worse. I know my other IRL people would let me down, so I've just been keeping it in. It's getting awfully big and painful. I *leak* a little now and then, but sooner or later the dam is going to break.
Hello
Mine used to talk softly to me when I cried a little bit, and if I started to cry really hard he would ask if I wanted him to sit closer, continue sitting as we were, or if I wanted him to leave the room.Being a clinical psychologist myself ;-) I actually find it quite important to manage to open up your feelings so much that you can cry in front of another person. But I am also aware of that not everyone has a therapist that matches their preferences...
My advice to you would be to try to allow yourself to cry when you are with your therapist... if she doesn't react the way you would prefer, it's probably not because she think that you are crazy or that she doesn't like that you are crying. If you re really brave, confront your therapist with what you feel about her reactions. If your therapist can't handle that you confront her, I wouldn't call her a good therapist. I always try to connect in some way with my patients when they are crying, but the reaction to my aproach (no matter how subtle) is differing in all directions.
Good luck with your therapist.
poster:Crazy_Charlie
thread:407238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/410036.html