Posted by Larry Hoover on November 4, 2004, at 14:11:10
In reply to Re: Memories *could be a trigger, * » Larry Hoover, posted by sunny10 on November 1, 2004, at 14:12:58
> I'm sure you know that I'm rather new here... I've been doing a bunch of reading on the various boards, but I haven't really heard anyone who had experiences as simmilar to mine before I read your last post.
I didn't know you were new. I have trouble keeping people/identities straight.
> We do a bit of talking "around" a subject here, without really opening up until either triggered or asked, I've noticed.
I'd hate to generalize like that. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is even interested, but that's probably got a lot more to do with what's going on inside of me than anything else.
> I appreciate you opening up with me to show me that you do, in fact, understand.I'm glad you felt validated.
> I notice that in your posts you are extremely knowledgeable. I am often accused of "thinking too much"; I think I use it as a mechanism- sort of a dissassociation from feeling.There is a possibility of using thinking to remain superficial or to create detachment. But that's not necessarily the case.
> Do people accuse you of these things, too?
Accuse? Wow, that's a strong word. I think a lot, but I feel deeply. I don't see them as being mutually exclusive processes.
> And if so, does that help or hinder your therapy?
The thinking part of me helps me to find the best words. The feeling part of my is facilitated when I find the best words.
> I find myself ambivalent- there are good things and bad things about knowing these things about myself. Still haven't figured out whether it is a good thing or a bad thing that I use the "smarts" as a tool to avoid more chances of getting hurt.
Coping strategies are not simply adaptive or maladaptive. They have benefits and costs, and those are dependent on the situation. It may be that you're sensing that becoming superficial via cognitive processes is less adaptive for you, as time goes on?
> Any thoughts on that? As I am 37, your extra 10 yrs experience can only add to my own theories!Keeping from feeling is a way of reducing the possibility of being hurt, but I'd rather feel life to the fullness of my capability.
> And, as advice should be, only used if it feels right to me. I know, I know, no two people are alike. But sharing in this "safe" haven seems to be cathartic in its way...
>
> Thanks again,
> sunny10I hope you do share. Dialogue is a two-way street. I'm sure you have much to teach others.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/411746.html