Posted by littleone on October 31, 2004, at 16:35:20
I'm having a difficult time in therapy at the moment coming to terms with the fact that I have been abused in the past. A lot of our current work is trying to let a few memories out of the big ugly box they've all been crammed into for the past 30 odd years. I'm not a very trusting person (to say the least) and I'm always very cautious about the potential that exists for suggestions to lead to "false" memories, etc.
Due to these issues, I felt very disturbed reading some things on a recent thread about False Memories. I've been a long time lurker and am therefore very familiar with each of the posters and the dynamics involved in the discussion.
However, it did make me wonder something about repressed vs false memories.
I always thought that if a memory was repressed you would obviously have no recollection of the event, however, wouldn't you sense something there? For example, I witnessed a pedestrian get killed by a truck. During a psych interview following the incident, the T asked me if I had seen a dead person before. I told him no, however I was very unsure about that and it *felt* wrong.
About a year later, something I saw on TV suddenly made me recall that yes, I had seen a dead person before. A year prior to the above accident, my father in law died of cancer at his home. I saw him numerous times after he had passed away.
However, even after that recollection, I still *feel* like there's more there. That there is another dead person there somewhere, but I have no idea who/where/when/etc.
One part of me thinks "Geez, I think you'd remember if you saw a dead person" but then another part pipes up with "Not necessarily, that's why they're called REPRESSED memories".
I asked my T about it and he said that yes, sometimes you will *feel* there is something there, but that other times you won't. The memory will just come out of nowhere as a complete surprise.
For those of you who have recovered memories, I was wondering if you always *felt* like there was something there or something not right. If not, when you did remember an event, did it *feel* like a true memory, or did you need convincing to trust your memories?
PS I would just like to send a big thank you to Dinah, DaisyM, fallsfall, gardenergirl, Pfinsteg, Aphrodite, and so many others who have contributed to Babble. I have gotten so much out of eavsdropping on your conversations over the past year or more. I wouldn't have stuck with my T without all of your inadvertant advice. Thank you :)
poster:littleone
thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409684.html