Posted by Larry Hoover on November 1, 2004, at 12:13:56
In reply to Re: Memories *could be a trigger, * » Larry Hoover, posted by sunny10 on November 1, 2004, at 11:25:10
> Hey, Larry,
>
> Forget the "looking for signs of the abuse to hide it"- the pyschological abuse can NEVER be found.
>
> I tried to kill myself to get away from it- and to spare my 3 yr old from the physical stuff my ex-husb was inflicting on our son when I stopped responding to the emotional abuse... I had run out of tears. I thought that if I was gone, my ex wouldn't have any more reasons to get mad and my son wouldn't be thrown against the wall into his crib/youth bed...yes, I was completely irrational by then.
>
> When I came out of the hospital, the courts GAVE my son to my ex-husb because they could not "see" pyschological/emotional abuse.
>
> And now my son will grow up either a victim of it, or learn it and do it to someone else... isn't that the way they say these things go??
>
> I was a victim.... my mother told me what form of birth control failed and didn't prevent my conception.... my godmother told me that she had to physically remove my mother from the abortion clinic so that I would be born....my mother barely acknowledged my existence at all 24/7. I "learned" to find someone like my mother and "turn it around- make them love me this time".... and wound up with my ex...
>
> And now my poor son is in this vicious cycle. I wish I had been diagnosed earlier- had gotten some help earlier. I put an innocent child into this hell.
>
> Sorry- got a little (!?) digression going on...just wanted to mention that not all abuse leaves scars that people can see.
>
> -sunny10Oh, I know. I'm sorry you hurt so much.
When I was in a support group for victims of abuse, two things struck me hardest. One, the incredible variability in the nature of the abuse. Two, the similarities in what it did to us.
I like the way John Bradshaw put it. I think I'll be pretty accurate if I call this a quotation: "All abuse is emotional abuse."
Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/410058.html