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Re: Memories *could be a trigger, * » sunny10

Posted by Larry Hoover on November 1, 2004, at 13:52:40

In reply to Re: Memories *could be a trigger, * » Larry Hoover, posted by sunny10 on November 1, 2004, at 12:52:28

> Wow, I am soooooooooooo sorry for unloading on you like that. It was totally uncalled for.

There's nothing at all to apologize for. I was listening. You got triggered. Hopefully, some insight comes from your experience, of vocalizing your history.

> I'm dealing with something "new" on the relationship board; I'm afraid I let my feelings run away from me on this board.

Doesn't bother me.

> Boy, do I appreciate you being able to deflect that and bring this back on subject...!

I am good at that. ;-)

> That being said, what I had MEANT to actually reply was this... I "know" these things about my mother because they were told to me. The fact that I can't "recall with detail" the "memories of being neglected" is BECAUSE nothing happened. Nothing GOOD I mean- and with emotional neglect, it is 24/7, there are no "moments" that you can "recall" for therapuetic purposes.

Neglect is a special kind of abuse. Maybe you can think of times when you needed comforting, but didn't get it? There's a technique called reparenting. When you recall those moments of having not received the comfort you needed, you can picture yourself hugging the scared child within you. It may sound hokey, but it works for me.

I'm 47 years old, and I do not recall a single instance where my mother hugged me. Not ever, and to this day. Now, that is not proof that it never happened, but I can state with 100% assurance that it did not happen enough.

> Does that mean that the emotional neglect didn't occur- I mean, because there are no detailed memories??

If you can remember being left to deal with your internal state, without external support, then that is your memory to work with.

> On a positive note, I am trying your suggestion of the Sam-e and omega 3's... I was listening; got the blister foil, enteric coated Sam-e and the enteric coated Omega 3's. And were you ever right about reading the labels on the Omega 3's for actual mgs ! The one I wound up with says 1000 mgs on the front, but the actual Omega 3 mgs is 600 ! But the 600 was better than 300 for the same price...

Labels are there for a reason, eh?

> I think they're actually kicking in for today... I wish they had done so BEFORE I went off on the "screaming me-me's" on you earlier.

Please, rest assured, I was not upset by your post. I was upset *for* you.

> Again, my sincerest apologies...
>
> -sunny10

Already water under the bridge.

Lar

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Larry Hoover thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/410118.html