Posted by Anneke on December 8, 2005, at 10:41:49
In reply to Horrible session, posted by daisym on December 8, 2005, at 0:42:09
Daisy,
I'm new here but your post resonated with me so much that I had to respond. I sympathize with the fear that now that you've finally let someone in and that person has responded so wonderfully that you'll never be able to quiet those little ones again. I go around and around about this with my own therapist....I'm too needy, I've told the stories enough, I need to move on. But it's just not that easy...is it? If only we could make the decision to move on and that would be that.
And, I too am looking to comfort and soothe that little girl by myself. I could have written the sentence "The books tell me to comfort her -- and to move on. They just don't tell me how to do that." myself. I keep thinking that my copy of "Courage to Heal" must be missing the part where it gives the step by step instructions for moving on! My therapist tells me that I've done the first part....letting the little part out and letting her trust and become attached to her (my therapist). Now I have to somehow learn to help my adult part listen to her and soothe her, but (and this is where I always get in trouble) it doesn't have to be either/or....I don't have to either do it all myself or be completely dependent upon my therapist. For me, every time I feel like I'm making progress, the little part freaks out and feels like I'm losing my therapist and then I find myself sobbing hysterically when I have to leave my therapist's office and calling her or e-mailing her between sessions. All of which SHE is fine with...it's me that beats myself up over being too needy, too much, too dramatic.
I wish I had good answers for you....but I think it's what everyone else has said. Keep on keeping on, be gentle with yourself, get angry when you need to and trust that it will get better. And allow yourself to feel good about how far you've come.
I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now....and it IS hard.
Anneke
poster:Anneke
thread:586792
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586876.html