Posted by LauraBeane on December 9, 2005, at 9:58:19
I am a lurker because the few times I've replied to posts my tone came out all wrong, and when I later read what I had written I was appalled at the person who came through. I hope that isn't really me.
But, my need to ask for help from all of you outweighs the rest, so I will try to do better. I have been seeing my T for 2 1/2 years. this is the longest/most committed therapy relationship I've ever had. he is treating me for PTSD. He has helped me so much and I have a great deal of respect for him.
What happens is this. Sometimes after we get into one of those very intense sessions, talking about my stuff, the next session I go in expecting to continue the discussion but I find the atmosphere in the room is entirely different; he has pulled back. He becomes exremely objective (to me he feels cold) and he either runs through the issues in a "in sum" kind of way or simply steers the conversation elsewhere.
This really throws me. I have reacted in different ways, once walking out because I couldn't bear the difference between what was there before/what I was expecting, and what is there now. He told me once that this is the way he does therapy, gives a lot but then steps back to regain some distance and perspective.
I know it is a way of taking care of himself but it's so hard for me. It always takes me by surprise. It's frustrating and it feels like rejection. I react defensively and try to pull him back to where we were, which makes it worse because it doesn't work and I feel like a fool.
any thoughts are much appreciated. Just being able to get it out of my head is a tremendous help, so thanks for listening.
poster:LauraBeane
thread:587240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587240.html