Posted by antigua on January 4, 2006, at 12:37:13
In reply to Re: and how much? » muffled, posted by sleepygirl on January 4, 2006, at 12:18:19
"How much" can be as much as you need. It is so painful, I know, but if you can work through it, it can help in real life relationships, but you already know that, I'm sure.
Try to look behind the attachment. When have you ever felt this way before? SOmetimes, and often, it's pre-verbal and/or infantile so it can't be verbalized. That can be so hard. We want what our mothers didn't give us, in many cases, and we want it from our T, and although they can't give it in the same way, they can help you to learn to help yourself. Learning to soothe myself was a really big deal to me. I thought that was all rather silly, but I rock now and it really helps. My daughter gave me a stuffed bear for Christmas and I like to hug that bear!!
My transference w/my T was/is maternal and she has been a good mother to me, but more importantly, she has taught me how to be a good mother. My more painful transference issues are w/men (because of my father) and I'm still working on the pain of that!
Good luck to all of you,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:595143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/595166.html