Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 12, 2007, at 8:43:26
In reply to You will be OK » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Daisym on March 12, 2007, at 1:48:15
hi everyone,
yes, I did have a crisis, and i think I'm out of the pit, as muffled has written about.I got in touch with my T and we talked about it (I had big messy crying on the phone and probably made her late, but whatever.
The main thing for me to do to take care of myself is to take care of my feelings.
That's the lesson I'm learning now. Take care of Llurpsie's feelings and the noodle will be okay.
that means I am working on this stuff:
1) that I have feelings
2) that I acknowledge having feelings
3) that I put words with my feelings (because otherwise they end up manifesting themselves as self-destructive feelings and actions)
4) the thoughts that run through my head with those feelings
5) the triggers for those feelings
6) the source of the thoughts that accompany the feelings
7) whether my feelings take place in a context of identifying with someone else (like my mom, or the tantrum kid upstairs)
8) writing about my feelings to give them a voice and to share that voice with T, pdoc, babble, myself. writing helps me organize my thinking
things that I should try to avoid1) too much numbing of feelings (like by making myself overbusy-manic-anorexic; or by tuning out in front of the TV, or retail therapizing)
2) too much generalized anxiety ABOUT having feelings (this is manifest in my picking and other icky self-injurious behaviors)
3) running away (because it's not good to run away from home when home is the safest place to be at 4 am on saturday)
4) sleep deprivation- makes everything more fragile
5) lying to myself, even optimistic-type lies. Like "I will be able to finish this chunk of work in X hours". realistic expectations are key.and a new coping technique I learned for extreme circumstances. taking a sleeping pill and my benzodiazepines. I took the sleepy pill as prescribed and the bzd at a somewhat higher dose than usual, although still at a reasonable dose.
and a new coping technique I learned for less-extreme circumstances. riding a bus to Target. the shopping was *okay* but the bus ride and the scenery and the people on the bus were really good for me to get out of my shell of introspective misery.
so, yoo hoo! here I am. I'm going to go take my BZD again. not a high dose, just an anti-anxiety dose. I don't like having the sleepy feeligns, but I don't really like having self-destructive generalized anxiety either. I wish to feel mellow and focused. is that SO much to ask?
oh well. (waving her hand goodbye now)
-Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:739737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/740356.html