Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 12, 2007, at 14:28:24
In reply to Babblers, lets cut ourselves some slack...., posted by Iwillsurvive on March 12, 2007, at 13:27:08
> Mellow and focussed is good, but for some of us it very uncomfortable cuz we NOT USED to feeling that way......so we kinda WANT to be somewhat antsy, cuz thats our comfort zone, whats normal to us....don't mean its good, just we goto get USED to mellow...
yeah... I remember the first time I ever took klonopin I HATED it. I felt like I wasn't en garde and it was like being drunk in public without a designated babysitter.
I remember telling pdoc-- I never felt mellow like this before. Is this how people feel? And he smiled. I said "I don't like it. I don't feel like doing anything, just like sitting and looking out the window" and he said that I probably got addicted to feeling anxiety and that I wasn't really used to doing things because I *wanted* to, and then conveniently referred me to my therapist when I protested.... but how do I know what I WANT??? I never had to think about that before!!!!
> I remember a poster who's T said something like 'your used to operating like someones got a gun to your head' (or something like that).
> I related to that. Many years of hgypervigilance etc, is hard to change quickly.
> Many years of repressing emtions makes it hard to even recognize them anymore...
> Its a slow process to creep thu all this dysfunctional stuff so many of us seem to have built up.
> But its doable.
> We just goto give ourselves credit for how we gotten this far.
> And not kick our *sses for not 'getting there'(whatever THAT means) faster.
> Its a process.
> We working at it.
> Yup.
> YAYYYY Babblers.YAY babblers. My T spent about 5 minutes in a straight monologue telling me what a wonderful human being I was and I couldn't even stop crying. hmph. but I've come a long way into being able to recognize what my strengths are. It's so hard to trust other people before we trust ourselves, but it's necessary sometimes.
So, I guess I'll trust all you kind babblers, whom I respect and care for very much and if you have well-wishes for me then I'll have to respect them too and try to allow myself to feel complimented.
best,
-Llurpsishly
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:739737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/740424.html