Posted by red house on July 22, 2007, at 20:27:34
In reply to Needs and my situation with T.....help!!, posted by jammerlich on July 22, 2007, at 17:13:43
well, so i'm a newbie to this board, but reading your message touched on something i'm struggling with right now, and so i feel moved to respond.
i think it's perfectly reasonable and actually a profound act of self-care to be straight about what it is that you are needing from your T and if you can't get it (or at least get more consistency from her on this point) then you should explore other possible Ts. that said, i realize it's really difficult to make that transition, but there are, i believe, Ts out there who can be consistently open to their clients and be steadfast in their ability to be an emotional rock on which to anchor you, especially when you need them the most -- whether that being to call and check in between appointments or being able to hear consistently that it is perfectly okay, if not absolutely what you should be doing, to need your T.
i have been through several different Ts (over several years) who each had very different approaches to the therapeutic process, and i ultimately found myself in therapy with one who has been that rock and has incredible availability and presence, generally, but especially in times of need or just in times of needing to feel her there. it makes a huge difference, especially for me as someone who struggles with the idea that i "shouldn't" need anyone or anything and who has great shame about having needs met and asking for such presence.
so, i respond to say that i think it would be a perfectly good response for you to lay it out as clearly as you can for her and then give her an opportunity to deal with you directly about whether she can meet your needs. if she can't, then as hard as it is, it may be worth trying to find another therapist who is more comfortable with being needed and more open to meeting their patients needs, especially outside of your 50 minutes. i realize that's not important to all of us seeking therapy, but when it is, i really don't think it's too much to ask or hope for.
sorry it's so long...
redhouse
poster:red house
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771220.html