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Re: what did he say? » Annierose

Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 10:50:28

In reply to Re: what did he say? » Dinah, posted by Annierose on August 2, 2008, at 10:21:43

I think it does make sense in one way. If I'm grasping the thought.

But I guess...

It feels like he's not seeing *me*. And if he's not seeing the real me, how can anything he feels about me be genuine?

And part of it may go beyond what he said, although that was bad enough, to how he "felt". My therapist isn't often fierce. He's very laid back and stays in his chair. He said this fiercely.

I know my therapist is fond of me, and thinks well of me in some or maybe many ways. But it's always been a gentle, affectionate sort of positive feelings. A smiling sort of way. He laughs at my funny way of putting things and seeing the world, in a totally positive sort of way. And that makes me feel cared for.

But I don't think I want him to have fierce positive feelings for me, even if they were realistic (which these weren't). It's scary.

I'll have to think about it some.

Maybe it feels like there are too many expectations attached? I don't want to let him down when he sees the truth. If he thinks too highly of me, especially in a fierce way, won't the negative feelings that come from disappointment be just as fierce?

 

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poster:Dinah thread:843605
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