Posted by Nadezda on June 24, 2009, at 14:56:48
In reply to Re: Need help reframing » antigua3, posted by Dinah on June 23, 2009, at 23:29:05
Well, one rule might be:
1. unpredictability and inconsistency are to be expected and relied upon
2. It's important for all of us to accept that some of us are just going to say whatever we want--
3. As long as someone acts ok, it's okay--in fact, it's better if they don't make you think about what's really going on.--although you, of course, are going to blurt out whatever (and we all know when and to whom this applies)
4. There are no understandable rules
5. You aren't supposed to know what's going on, but to be confused and doubt your own perceptionsThese may not be on target-- but something in that vicinity-- comes across.
About the oval thing-- I'd put one, or at most two things into the oval--if only, as you said, to know more about why you don't want to do it.. Maybe over time, you can make a few ovals. There's no great virtue in doing these exercises exactly as they're formulated-- if you can adapt them to something that is thought-provoking-- great. If not-- maybe an oval with some things that therapists-- or authority figure-- do that make you feel put down, or angry? You can put anything in to an oval, you know.
By the way, he has revitalized the therapy, hasn't he? Not in a good way, perhaps. Maybe he was taking a chance here-- with something he thinks you might be prone in the past not to like. I mean- is it possible that he's not insulting you, but thinks that going over things in a different way-- trying some new things, on areas where you haven't fully worked through the feelings-- to say the least-- (and of course-- who ever does?--especially when it comes to things one feels embarrassed or self-conscious about) -- would at least upset the applecart a bit-- and that that might be something you're ready for.
I mean he might be groping for something that would shake things up, in an interesting way-- and maybe this was a lousy idea-- but can you forgive him for not knowing what to do? being clumsy, or making a mistake? Like with the fire drill?
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:902818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902964.html