Posted by rayww on September 23, 2003, at 5:32:15
In reply to I Am Really, Really Scared, posted by galkeepinon on September 22, 2003, at 22:51:38
I know you won't want to hear what I have to say, but know that I have read your post and care deeply. I have two brothers who are caught in the traps that you describe. I know how much you want to escape and wish I had the answers you need to hear, but I don't. If I did, I'm sure my brothers would have listened by now. But they haven't. ONe brother stood at the door of the operating room and saw our father die on the table. He has never been willing to take counselling, and has been messed up ever since, shooting himself over and over again so to speak, but never dieing. I am frustrated too.
ONe reason I am so frustrated with their situation is because they have had it all, but rejected it. Threw it away as though it was trash. If only they knew what it was they were throwing in the garbage.
I have not read this board before tonight, but I woke in the middle of the night with the flu and haven't been able to get back to sleep, so I read through most of the threads here. I feel such compassion for your struggles, all of you. I have never had a substance addiction, but have had another kind, so I do understand addiction. I learned I could use fantasy to pleasure my husband, and without going into detail, that almost cost me my marriage and my salvation. But it didn't. I was able to beat it, though it has been a life long battle. I was born without a vagina and through reconstruction, was able to have children, etc, but had to fantasize to overcome the pain of intercourse, and am married to a wonderful man who likes lots, who did not understand at all the reasons why and who pushed me over the mental and physical edge so many times until i fell to the addiction.
I have seen so many miracles when people come into the church, so why can't my brothers follow their family and join in? I don't know. I guess it has to be spiritually driven. They have to have had such a strong witness that it is true in order to get motivated. What a deal though, it takes at least 10 years off your looks, and adds that many to your life. A religion that has the power to change a person's looks and over power any addiction,,, I just can't see why everyone doesn't want it. I absolutely know it's the truth and the power, I've seen so many miraculous recoveries through the power of the priesthood. I've been posting over on Faith for a few months, but I've never been this bold over there. I don't usually say how I feel about it, but even though there are many who have tried and not succeeded in it, and even though there are many who have been in it and chosen to leave, it is still the only religion with the true priesthood power to save us from our own addictions. Meaning, to empower us to rise above it ourselves.
It is such a hard journey. I pray for you tonight that you might find some sorce of direction and hope. You certainly are most deserving of that, and I'm sure God is mindful of you and these struggles. Sometimes He is just standing behind the door waiting for you to open it, that near. My advice, stay near the door until you are able to open it. He won't be the one to move away, He never does. But He has rules and is very strict. It's a tough journey, but worth it. Take courage and hope. Pray always. If you fall let God catch you. Just break (submit) yourself into His eternal care. He will not abandon you. I promise!
Now I'm going to be embarrassed for writing what I did, so I'll probably not come back to read the rest of this. If I get blocked for saying I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, or if I offend, I can only say that sometimes I have to stand up for what I believe with all my heart, is the answer to life's greatest challenges.
poster:rayww
thread:262536
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20030903/msgs/262604.html