Posted by Racer on January 3, 2006, at 16:38:48
In reply to OMG. Am I too needy?, posted by gardenergirl on January 1, 2006, at 9:21:40
GG, you *know* the answer to this question, right? I don't actually have to answer it, right?
Take a step outside yourself for a moment: if you were looking at a friend who was going through what you are right now, would you offer support, or say, "SoNSo is too needy." Sure, you'd feel helpless and frustrated, because that's natural when someone you care about is in so much pain. But would you withdraw support and say, "It's because you're Too Needy?"
I think we all know the answer to that, right?
About the other thing, no wonder you're getting hit by all this right now -- is there any way you can remove yourself from your traditional, dysfunctional, inappropriate role in your family situation? (Not, you understand, that I have an opinion about it...)
Oh, you know I hate to sound critical of you, and this is meant as an observation: who is putting you into the role you're playing right now? Is your father the one saying you need to do this? Or are you volunteering? You know I 'get' it, right? But it's still one of those hard questions that it's worth trying to answer: who's putting you into this role? What can you do to remove yourself from it and create a new, more comfortable role for yourself?
I feel as though I have an unfair advantage, since you and I have discussed some of the dynamics with this, but another question is what you're trying to accomplish by taking on this role?
Now that I've hit you with all that, here's the other part: as one woman who tries to take care of everyone except herself to another, you DESERVE better treatment than you're getting right now.
And it's OK to ask for it, although there's no guarantee that you'll get it.
Love to you.
poster:Racer
thread:593914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594824.html