Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:22:18
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on January 1, 2006, at 13:56:14
> hi gg,
> I'm so sorry about the pain, and NO, you're NOT too needy! You're a strong pillar of support for your family, and they take that for granted. Not in a mean way, just in a "for granted" way -- like, "GG's always the strong one, we can always go to her for comfort." They might not even consider that you need help, too.Yeah, that's what my husband said, "you looked fine." Well did you ASK? grrr
>
> But what about asking them? can you go to a sibling or dad and say, "I need a hug. I need to cry. I'm a mess, and I will keep arranging and doing all the details, but I need you just to love me and support me and hold me right now while I cry."I think that makes sense, but in my family, that would be taking a very big risk. We do seem to be getting better at showing our feelings to each other and supporting...just a bit. But my whole life, I never got that caring, and so I learned not to ask for it, because the rejection/withholding hurt worse than just trying to struggle on my own.
> >
> Could you say that to your hubby?Yes, and in fact, I need to. But that fear of rejection or lack of faith that anything would change is a powerful inhibitor.
>
> I hope things get better.
> take care!
> jenStarThanks. Glad to see you back here.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:593914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594303.html