Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:10:45
In reply to NOT too needy!!!! » gardenergirl, posted by jammerlich on January 1, 2006, at 12:39:18
> GG, you are absolutely not too needy. Could it be that others see you as extremely capable and have kind of gotten used to having you take care of them?
Yeah, I think that's part of it. And like falls said, too--being strong doesn't mean not being vulnerable, but that's a more complicated stance that perhaps what others can perceive (and we ourselves can perceive).
>I'm noticing that a lot in my life. Everyone has gotten so used to my caretaking that I face - well, resistance - when I seek a little in return. Sometimes I think they don't even know how to give it and I wonder if I had any part in that.
I wouldn't take that on yourself. They certainly could learn from observation and experiencing it from you. But maybe they begin to expect it from you, and then don't ever feel "the need" to apply it themselves?
>
> I think you're completely justified in wondering, "who's taking care of me?" We all need that sometimes. Isn't that what the whole interdependency thing is about?Yep. And thanks.
>
> And I'm so sorry you ended up having to discuss your husband's crap when you tried to tell him how you were feeling. Mine does it too and it sucks and it really hurts.Yeah. Honestly, I think he read the post and just honed in on the part about him, when it was really a minor part of the bigger picture. And apparently he's angry enough to continue to withhold support and caring in the face of obvious need. Which hurts like hell, and also just puzzles me beyond belief. But it is apparent that this is his pattern. One that definitely needs to change.
>
> (((((GG)))))Thanks.
Charter members of the Overdoing it Caregivers' Club? sigh
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:593914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594300.html