Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:19:10
In reply to Re: OMG. Am I too needy? » gardenergirl, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 1, 2006, at 13:54:54
> Okay, first you need a really big hug. ((GG))
Thanks, yes I do.
>
> Now I will share with you the wise advice my T gave me when I had spent the previous 50 min grieving and crying about my grandmother's death: drink plenty of water.LOL, that's good, practical advice and it makes a lot of sense. You know, for once I didn't get the "crying headache", which can be so terribly painful. It may be because I had two cups of herbal tea right after. One of the Tension Tamer and then a bit later some peppermint, because I was afraid I was going to lose it, stomach-wise. Both helped. And after reading your post, I had a big glass of water. I don't feel so yucky today. Thanks!
>
> And I think that in a way it is very deep: there is no way to "fix" the pain of grief. No perfect words that will make it better. It hurts. A LOT. And so the best we can do is try to help a person along that difficult grief journey.Yeah. That's the thing--I felt so completely alone. And I felt like I might break or die from the pain, which was scary and overwhelming for me. I think this just might have been as bad as I've ever felt it. I had a thought that I just wanted to curl up and die somewhere, which might be the very first time I ever had that kind of "ideation." Scary.
>
> I think that the other point in this is that you can't forget to take care of yourself. You need to take care of you before you worry about the needs of your entire family. (Also, could you "assign" one of your sibs to check in w/ dad or something else?)Yes, it's easy to forget when you're expected and even asked to do stuff. But last night I asked my mom to call my sibs to update them. That was easy and felt like a relief. And my husband is going to arrange for a cargo van for moving some of Grandma's stuff to our house. Things she wanted us to have.
>
> Also, I think that it is pretty darn needy to tell your grieving wife who struggles w/ severe depression that she is being needy. Grrr. Marriage is about give and take. Some days/months/years/decades one needs to take more than the other. I could go on and on about this one, but I suspect that this is not the time for that. I DO think that hubby should think about his own therapy.He's actually in his own therapy. I still don't know that he "gets" the concept and course of depression. He's such a practical, work-ethic, disciplined kind of guy. I love that about him, but it is NOT an approach for helping depression.
>
> A few more hugs our favorite GG: ((((GG)))) And a glass of water too!Thanks. I really appreciate it.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:593914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594302.html