![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 23 to 47 of 47. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:19:10
In reply to Re: OMG. Am I too needy? » gardenergirl, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 1, 2006, at 13:54:54
> Okay, first you need a really big hug. ((GG))
Thanks, yes I do.
>
> Now I will share with you the wise advice my T gave me when I had spent the previous 50 min grieving and crying about my grandmother's death: drink plenty of water.LOL, that's good, practical advice and it makes a lot of sense. You know, for once I didn't get the "crying headache", which can be so terribly painful. It may be because I had two cups of herbal tea right after. One of the Tension Tamer and then a bit later some peppermint, because I was afraid I was going to lose it, stomach-wise. Both helped. And after reading your post, I had a big glass of water. I don't feel so yucky today. Thanks!
>
> And I think that in a way it is very deep: there is no way to "fix" the pain of grief. No perfect words that will make it better. It hurts. A LOT. And so the best we can do is try to help a person along that difficult grief journey.Yeah. That's the thing--I felt so completely alone. And I felt like I might break or die from the pain, which was scary and overwhelming for me. I think this just might have been as bad as I've ever felt it. I had a thought that I just wanted to curl up and die somewhere, which might be the very first time I ever had that kind of "ideation." Scary.
>
> I think that the other point in this is that you can't forget to take care of yourself. You need to take care of you before you worry about the needs of your entire family. (Also, could you "assign" one of your sibs to check in w/ dad or something else?)Yes, it's easy to forget when you're expected and even asked to do stuff. But last night I asked my mom to call my sibs to update them. That was easy and felt like a relief. And my husband is going to arrange for a cargo van for moving some of Grandma's stuff to our house. Things she wanted us to have.
>
> Also, I think that it is pretty darn needy to tell your grieving wife who struggles w/ severe depression that she is being needy. Grrr. Marriage is about give and take. Some days/months/years/decades one needs to take more than the other. I could go on and on about this one, but I suspect that this is not the time for that. I DO think that hubby should think about his own therapy.He's actually in his own therapy. I still don't know that he "gets" the concept and course of depression. He's such a practical, work-ethic, disciplined kind of guy. I love that about him, but it is NOT an approach for helping depression.
>
> A few more hugs our favorite GG: ((((GG)))) And a glass of water too!Thanks. I really appreciate it.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:22:18
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on January 1, 2006, at 13:56:14
> hi gg,
> I'm so sorry about the pain, and NO, you're NOT too needy! You're a strong pillar of support for your family, and they take that for granted. Not in a mean way, just in a "for granted" way -- like, "GG's always the strong one, we can always go to her for comfort." They might not even consider that you need help, too.Yeah, that's what my husband said, "you looked fine." Well did you ASK? grrr
>
> But what about asking them? can you go to a sibling or dad and say, "I need a hug. I need to cry. I'm a mess, and I will keep arranging and doing all the details, but I need you just to love me and support me and hold me right now while I cry."I think that makes sense, but in my family, that would be taking a very big risk. We do seem to be getting better at showing our feelings to each other and supporting...just a bit. But my whole life, I never got that caring, and so I learned not to ask for it, because the rejection/withholding hurt worse than just trying to struggle on my own.
> >
> Could you say that to your hubby?Yes, and in fact, I need to. But that fear of rejection or lack of faith that anything would change is a powerful inhibitor.
>
> I hope things get better.
> take care!
> jenStarThanks. Glad to see you back here.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:27:34
In reply to Re: OMG. Am I too needy? » gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on January 1, 2006, at 14:00:06
> hi gg,
> if your hubby has serious sh** going on right now too, can you both comfort each other? Does he at least agree that you have "right" to grieve and fall apart right now?We can try. I'm not sure he can cope with my grieving and needs for support right now, because in his opinion, he's the neglected one. So despite what is an extraordinary circumstance (and it's the second death in my family in a month), he can't let go of his own "score" in the support department.
That tells me he's very very angry about this, which he only expresses by shutting me out. And then whipping out a wallopingly cruel act when it gets too much (thinking of my birthday and our anniversary).
So when I asked him why we were talking about his hurts and needs when I was the one so obviously in need at the moment, he basically said, "too bad". Mine are more important. I wish I could be a fly on the wall at his therapy. I bet I come across like such a bitch.
>
> Are his issues that serious?I take them seriously, but I only have so much energy and ability to cope with them when I have to try to read his mind and anticpate his needs. And all while dealing with my own stuff.
>
> I'm sorry he's not being more supportive. But I don't think you're too needy; I think you're "normally" needy. And even if you WERE too needy -- sometimes we go through that when we're in pain, and spouses need to compromise and help sometimes. I wish he could do that for you.Thanks. I wish that, too. Even last night, although he was acting kinder, he still was dwelling on how we were going to work on getting HIS needs met.
Sigh
Couples therapy here we come!
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:31:05
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2006, at 15:20:31
> Of course you aren't too needy!!! You and your husband might have a bit of a difference in your emotional expression styles and capabilities but that certainly doesn't make you wrong or your needs wrong.
Thanks. Yeah, he's from another planet when it comes to emotional expression. He's getting a tiny bit better. And I'm glad for that and want to help him with that. But right now....sorry bud, I don't have the emotional energy for that.
>
> I'm so sorry you're hurting right now. And I'm so sorry about your grandmother.Thanks. I know you can relate, unfortunately. :(
>
> Is there any chance of making things a bit different this time? Of telling your family that you really can't do it all, and need to spread some of the job of emotional nurturance around? (Not incidentally so that you can get some of your own?)Maybe. I'm not sure I even have the words to do that. But even spreading some of the phone calls and such seems to help. It gave me a break last night. We need a family phone tree. ;)
>
> I hope your therapist is able to give you some emotional holding tomorrow, gg. You deserve to be able to grieve yourself without having to worry about taking care of anyone else.Thanks. I hope so too. Although I'm not sure how to ask or to frame what I need. Last time something like this, although not so intense happened, the session became all about my husband's issues, too. That was NOT what I needed then, and not what I need now. ME first, then let's try to work on the problem. sigh
Thanks again,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:33:02
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by fairywings on January 1, 2006, at 16:46:02
> I'm so sorry (((gg))), i know how bad the pain is when you lose someone, and i know how much it hurts when others let you down. You shouldn't have to deal with your husbands sh*t right now, he's should be holding you up, or at least standing by your side.
That's a good way to put it. I didn't feel that he was even at my side. He's been isolating himself from me. I felt all alone, and I didn't have therapy for two weeks, so I didn't even have my T there beside me, emotionally.
>
> I resigned from the world after my dad died, our son was born, and my mom died all w/in 8 months. By the time my mom died no one cared anymore. Well, they all s*uck.Oh my. That's a lot. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. And I think I might have done something similar. Glad you're back with us now.
>
> I'm sure you'd be there for them in their time of need. I sure hope your T is able to help you now. Maybe you can get some extra sessions till you're feeling better.Not a bad idea. I might ask him about that.
Thanks,
gg
>
> fw
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:33:41
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away!, posted by tryingtobewise on January 1, 2006, at 23:53:37
Thanks, I'm trying. And having support here helps tons.
Thanks again,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:36:35
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by daisym on January 2, 2006, at 2:24:18
> I really wish I could GG. I'd do anything to help you stop hurting. I wish I could hold you and let you cry it all out and then you could rest and tell me all the sweet memories you have about your grandmother. And when you fell asleep, I'd keep watch.
Thanks, Daisy. That brings tears to my eyes. And then maybe next time we could switch roles? It means a lot that you would think of me when I know you've had so much pain while alone. But I know you "get it." Thanks.
>
> I wish your husband was capable of offering you support right now. But just because he can't doesn't mean you don't deserve some. And I think you are such a natural caregiver that by making all these arrangements and keeping everyone informed, you might not look like you are having a hard time.I think you could be right. Hubby certainly could not see, even despite reading my post and seeing my awful swollen eyes.
>
> I hope therapy goes well for you tomorrow. Take it easy on yourself.Thanks. We'll have to have a chat soon. I miss you.
(((Daisy)))
gg
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2006, at 11:07:00
In reply to Long reply » fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 6:59:07
gg, your husband sounds a lot like mine. Only maybe more so. There are so many good things about being married to someone like that. (I'll bet he's enormously responsible and good at doing practical things. My husband is so good at his job that on my wedding day one of his bosses reassured me that my financial future was secure.) And is he really smart?
And perhaps a tad Aspergerish? Not having Aspergers exactly, but Aspergerish?
My husband and I were an enormously good match before I got in touch with my feelings. Now there are things that he does that really hurt. And he thinks I'm a fragile flower he's afraid to break.
But... I think as we adjusted our expectations of what the other *can* do and be, we started to be able to appreciate the ways we complement each other and what each of us can bring to the relationship. If I expect my husband to be the sort of man my therapist is, I'll be forever frustrated with him. Because he's just not wired that way. But if I think of him as differently abled so to speak, I can appreciate what he does bring, and look to find someone who can support me and understand me emotionally elsewhere, among my friends and my therapist.
And as I put fewer demands on him and appreciate him more, and try to share with him my gifts in areas that he may be a tad weak, he appreciates me more and our overall relationship gets better.
If that makes any sense?
I'm not saying he's right at all, or that you're wrong to want something more. I'm just saying that looking to him for things he can't give might not be the most rewarding way to engage in your marriage.
Posted by LauraBeane on January 2, 2006, at 12:32:57
In reply to Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away!, posted by gardenergirl on January 1, 2006, at 7:46:10
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. It can be so hard when a grandparent dies. They were and somehow remain so much a part of our childhood. So of course the child inside needs to be comforted. That kind of goes without saying.
Your family is very fortunate to have you to take care of things. That in itself is a tough job; to do it, you have to hold all that emotion in. I hope you can delegate some of it at some point. It would be good for them. :-)
About your husband, I was going to say something along the lines of what Dinah said (only less eloquently, with less clarity and not as much insight. but the same thing.) Maybe your husband's reaction speaks more about his own fears of inadequacy than about your needs. Maybe something to explore... but later.
for now I hope your therapist has given you some of the support that you need and very rightfully deserve. I am sorry for your loss.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 2, 2006, at 13:08:47
In reply to Re: OMG. Am I too needy? » Larry Hoover, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:06:03
> > I wish I could just hold you until you had enough, and then a little longer anyway. And listen, until you were too tired to talk. It's normal to want that. I'm very sorry you don't have that, IRL.
>
> Oh Lar. What a beautiful wish. That's really want I need.> Thank you for getting it and validating how I'm feeling.
>
> And for the bear hug. :)You're welcome.
> Want to think about teaching a course for husbands on sensitivity? Or at least on the power and necessity of bear hugs?
>
> ggI can't. I'm crying.
You sound like you got something you needed, from somewhere. And it doesn't matter how that came to be, ya know. You told us. We sent vibes and validations. And inside, you have resources that I think you seldom fully appreciate. And you sound like you're okay enough. And that's a blessing.
Take care of you.
Lar
Posted by JenStar on January 2, 2006, at 18:27:07
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » JenStar, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:22:18
hi gg,
I'm sorry that your family is not more open with their feelings, and I hope that they DO have lots of love/caring/affection for you, even if they don't show it often enough on the outside.And I really am sorry that your hubby is not being supportive. It's always a risk to "dis" someone's spouse, esp. since things always (hopefully!) get better, but he DOES sound like he's acting more on the jerky side, and less on the nice side these days. You truly deserve more, and I hope he can learn to give it to you.
Couples therapy could be a great thing if he's open to it...
Do you have any friends who could help shoulder some burden? Even if it's a risk, do you think you MIGHT consider being open and honest and downright needy with some family members?
I hope things get better soon. Take care of yourself!
JenStar
Posted by LadyBug on January 2, 2006, at 18:43:39
In reply to Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away!, posted by gardenergirl on January 1, 2006, at 7:46:10
(((((((GG)))))))
I wish I could hold you and let you cry and comfort you in your time of need.
Sorry for the loss of your Grandma. And you aren't too needy. Most Men just don't get it when we have emotional needs. I'm on my own in that department as well, even when he's been the one to cause my pain.
I think you're trying to be the strong one for everyone around you right now and you need some love and care yourself. We can't give what we don't have. I hope your week goes well. I'm sure you learned many things from your Grandma and I hope you'll cherish those things about her. She'll always have a place in your heart and mind. Just like a good therapist does for most of us. I know this time is hard, but you are going to come through it and be stronger for it. It's the hard things that make us grow and learn more about ourselves.
Bless you and your loved ones at this time.
LadyBug
Posted by Damos on January 2, 2006, at 19:06:56
In reply to Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away!, posted by gardenergirl on January 1, 2006, at 7:46:10
Love>GG<Love
((((((((((GG))))))))))
Your hurt hurts, it really does. And you are so not too needy, you are just so not.
Posted by Racer on January 3, 2006, at 16:38:48
In reply to OMG. Am I too needy?, posted by gardenergirl on January 1, 2006, at 9:21:40
GG, you *know* the answer to this question, right? I don't actually have to answer it, right?
Take a step outside yourself for a moment: if you were looking at a friend who was going through what you are right now, would you offer support, or say, "SoNSo is too needy." Sure, you'd feel helpless and frustrated, because that's natural when someone you care about is in so much pain. But would you withdraw support and say, "It's because you're Too Needy?"
I think we all know the answer to that, right?
About the other thing, no wonder you're getting hit by all this right now -- is there any way you can remove yourself from your traditional, dysfunctional, inappropriate role in your family situation? (Not, you understand, that I have an opinion about it...)
Oh, you know I hate to sound critical of you, and this is meant as an observation: who is putting you into the role you're playing right now? Is your father the one saying you need to do this? Or are you volunteering? You know I 'get' it, right? But it's still one of those hard questions that it's worth trying to answer: who's putting you into this role? What can you do to remove yourself from it and create a new, more comfortable role for yourself?
I feel as though I have an unfair advantage, since you and I have discussed some of the dynamics with this, but another question is what you're trying to accomplish by taking on this role?
Now that I've hit you with all that, here's the other part: as one woman who tries to take care of everyone except herself to another, you DESERVE better treatment than you're getting right now.
And it's OK to ask for it, although there's no guarantee that you'll get it.
Love to you.
Posted by jammerlich on January 5, 2006, at 12:11:37
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » daisym, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2006, at 7:36:35
Thought you might be needing some of those today and wanted you to know I'm still thinking about you. I hope you are finding the support you need.
Take care, and here's one more....
(((((((gg)))))))
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:28:12
In reply to Re: Long reply » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2006, at 11:07:00
> gg, your husband sounds a lot like mine. Only maybe more so. There are so many good things about being married to someone like that. (I'll bet he's enormously responsible and good at doing practical things.
Yep, you're right. Good thing, too. :)
>
> And perhaps a tad Aspergerish? Not having Aspergers exactly, but Aspergerish?Hmmm, I've never really looked at him that way. I'll have to think about that one.
>
> But... I think as we adjusted our expectations of what the other *can* do and be, we started to be able to appreciate the ways we complement each other and what each of us can bring to the relationship.Yeah, we're trying to do this, too. And I made a sign that says, "I can't read your mind." So far I haven't really used it, but I'm ready to. :)
>But if I think of him as differently abled so to speak, I can appreciate what he does bring, and look to find someone who can support me and understand me emotionally elsewhere, among my friends and my therapist.
Differently abled. That's a good way to put it. Yes, he and I are wired very differently in many ways. Fortunately not all. I'm not one who believes that "opposites attract" is necessarily a good thing. I think he and I have enough in common and enough love between us that we can get through this, too.
>
> If that makes any sense?
>You make a great deal of sense.
Thank you.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:32:11
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away!, posted by LauraBeane on January 2, 2006, at 12:32:57
> They were and somehow remain so much a part of our childhood. So of course the child inside needs to be comforted. That kind of goes without saying.
Actually, it's good to be reminded of this. Thanks. It sort of explains some of my feelings I've tried to figure out in my "adult" mode.
>
> Your family is very fortunate to have you to take care of things. That in itself is a tough job; to do it, you have to hold all that emotion in. I hope you can delegate some of it at some point. It would be good for them. :-)Thanks. Actually, after reading your post, the next time I had to do something, I asked my mom to pass the word and make a couple of calls. She pretty much would call anyway, so this worked out fine for both of us. Good advice, thanks.
>
> Maybe your husband's reaction speaks more about his own fears of inadequacy than about your needs. Maybe something to explore... but later.I think that's probably true. I had a very hard time last week seeing anything from his point of view. But the last few days are better. I'm feeling more able to see beyond my own feelings, actions, needs, etc. in order to see how the dynamic between the two of us is contributing to how I'm feeling.
>
> for now I hope your therapist has given you some of the support that you need and very rightfully deserve. I am sorry for your loss.Thanks.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:35:20
In reply to Re: OMG. Am I too needy? » gardenergirl, posted by Larry Hoover on January 2, 2006, at 13:08:47
> You sound like you got something you needed, from somewhere. And it doesn't matter how that came to be, ya know. You told us. We sent vibes and validations. And inside, you have resources that I think you seldom fully appreciate. And you sound like you're okay enough. And that's a blessing.
It is a blessing, Larry. I knew that I could count on my Babble friends to help. And y'all came through.
I wish that for you, too. But I don't always know what or when you need. And recently, I was getting the sense that maybe things weren't going all that well for you. I'm sorry for not offering this sooner:
Here's a hug for now or for later. Even for then, if it helps.
(((((((((Larry))))))))))
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:42:44
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on January 2, 2006, at 18:27:07
> I'm sorry that your family is not more open with their feelings, and I hope that they DO have lots of love/caring/affection for you, even if they don't show it often enough on the outside.
Thanks. It's hard, but I'm very fortunate that one side of the family sort of makes up for the other. And the other side is making some gains in this department. It's felt like a blessing, and I'm glad.
>
> And I really am sorry that your hubby is not being supportive. It's always a risk to "dis" someone's spouse, esp. since things always (hopefully!) get betterYes! :)
> but he DOES sound like he's acting more on the jerky side, and less on the nice side these days. You truly deserve more, and I hope he can learn to give it to you.
Thanks. Yeah, he was not really what I felt I needed. Although I recently read the first post in this thread again--the one I had showed him. In reading it again, I noticed that it does talk about him and how I felt let down more than I realized. I thought that had been a very tiny part of the post. And I also don't think my post came close to expressing that pain and how very bad it was. At least not to him, who is not so skilled in the language of emotions. I can see now how he reacted as he did. Amazing what a clearer head and some time and assistance to analyze things can do, eh?
>
> Couples therapy could be a great thing if he's open to it...We're taking steps to make that happen. Yikes. It scares me, so I can only imagine how he's feeling.
>
> Do you have any friends who could help shoulder some burden? Even if it's a risk, do you think you MIGHT consider being open and honest and downright needy with some family members?Actually, I talked to my mom a bit, and she has been somewhat supportive. Of course as I type this, I am remembering that telling my mother anything is telling the entire family. Oy! Didn't think about that. Maybe that's why I don't usually go to her with problems.
>
> I hope things get better soon. Take care of yourself!Thanks.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:48:19
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by LadyBug on January 2, 2006, at 18:43:39
> (((((((GG)))))))
> I wish I could hold you and let you cry and comfort you in your time of need.Thanks. It's amazing how comforting something as simple as holding can be.
> > I think you're trying to be the strong one for everyone around you right now and you need some love and care yourself. We can't give what we don't have.
You're right. I spent yesterday staying quite focused on the task at hand in order to avoid crying in front of some of my family. In some ways, I think that was good and perhaps helped them, as well. (Neither really like to show emotion). But it meant that this a.m. I had a bit of a cry all by myself. What is it about waking up early and thinking sad or negative thoughts, and then working myself into crying? Grrr. I'd much rather sleep, thank you very much.
>I hope your week goes well. I'm sure you learned many things from your Grandma and I hope you'll cherish those things about her. She'll always have a place in your heart and mind.
It's nice right now to remember the good things about her.
Thanks for your kind and comforting words.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:49:23
In reply to Re: Oh lordy, someone make the pain go away! » gardenergirl, posted by Damos on January 2, 2006, at 19:06:56
Thanks for the validation. It helps to hear it. I'm very good at self-doubt, especially about feelings.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:56:34
In reply to Uh, can you check your definitions? » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on January 3, 2006, at 16:38:48
> GG, you *know* the answer to this question, right? I don't actually have to answer it, right?
Yeah, intellecutally I do. But in my gut, I worry. Quite a war going on in here. :(
>
> About the other thing, no wonder you're getting hit by all this right now -- is there any way you can remove yourself from your traditional, dysfunctional, inappropriate role in your family situation? (Not, you understand, that I have an opinion about it...)Yeah, I think that actually could be possible. I had a lovely email from a colleague who reminded me that some things can wait, and some things can be delegated. Some can even be skipped. It's good to hear that from someone I respect.
>
> Oh, you know I hate to sound critical of you, and this is meant as an observation: who is putting you into the role you're playing right now?That is an excellent question! And after I read this, I noticed that when the next "problem" came up even as a possibility, I was already worrying about how to take care of it. And I suddenly realized that it's not really MY problem to solve. And in fact, in this case, I suspect if I went ahead and "solved it", the person who's "problem" it is might actually feel intruded upon. But I just sort of added it to my list, so to speak, without even thinking, until I realized what I was doing.
>What can you do to remove yourself from it and create a new, more comfortable role for yourself?
I just figured this out. It's about boundaries. Me not taking on others' problems is actually a good boundary for both/all of the family, (she says from her brain, as her gut is still worried that if she doesn't "step up", she'll be viewed as cold and uncaring.) Grrr. It's a good thing, but it would feel like turning my back. I'll have to try to try this out slowly to see how it feels.
>
> I feel as though I have an unfair advantage, since you and I have discussed some of the dynamics with this, but another question is what you're trying to accomplish by taking on this role?Now that's a good question, too. I may save that one for therapy. And thank you again for the huge help you've been in sorting through all of this. You are truly a treasured friend. :)
>
> Now that I've hit you with all that, here's the other part: as one woman who tries to take care of everyone except herself to another, you DESERVE better treatment than you're getting right now.
>
> And it's OK to ask for it, although there's no guarantee that you'll get it.
>
> Love to you.Thanks. And right back at you.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:57:44
In reply to Re: (((((gg))))) » gardenergirl, posted by jammerlich on January 5, 2006, at 12:11:37
That's very sweet and thoughtful of you. Thanks.
It's sort of a drawn out process, isn't it? Dealing with grief and family dynamics and your own neurosis?
Sigh.
No wonder I'm so tired.
Thanks again for the hugs and thoughts.
Hope you're doing well,
gg
Posted by littleone on January 8, 2006, at 19:47:02
In reply to Re: Uh, can you check your definitions? » Racer, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 14:56:34
You certainly sound a lot better. Still upset, but maybe a bit soothed. I'm glad you got what you needed. And I'm real sorry to hear about your Grandma.
I really liked what you said in your post to Racer about how you can see some things a bit clearer now re your boundaries and whatnot.
This will probably come out all wrong, but I think it's nice that insight came from your Grandma passing. I mean, obviously it's bad that she's gone, but it's nice that there something good came from it. Like one last gift from her.
If that sounds really horrible, I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to be.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2006, at 23:37:04
In reply to Re: Uh, can you check your definitions? » gardenergirl, posted by littleone on January 8, 2006, at 19:47:02
Not horrible at all. That's a nice way to frame it.
Thanks.
((((littleone))))
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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Script revised: February 4, 2008
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