Posted by Daisym on July 31, 2008, at 14:40:24
In reply to Labels and names **another csa trigger** Hermitian, posted by antigua3 on July 31, 2008, at 12:51:04
I'm working on a new concept right now - I think I "learned" to split daytime me from nighttime me - even now, the terror that fills my nights is light years for the Executive who speaks to congress...I sometimes think, "if they only knew." But mostly I don't think about it during the day. The "victim" must not emerge, must not hurt, must not feel. I have week-day me and week-end me too.
I think I learned this by living in a world that was split this way. Daytime was so NORMAL - we were the all-American family - well, OK, no dog. But still... Weekends and nighttimes were completely different. That isn't to say that violence didn't erupt during the day and the rules were always strict and harsh. But everything was understood as "strict" parenting, etc. It was harsh, not perverted.
I don't know what this adds to the discussion but I think figuring out why we are like we are is half the battle. And then we have to go further, make the connections and decide if we need to make changes. I think there is a lot of wisdom in the idea of not getting stuck in feelings about the feelings. I sure do this - I tell myself all the time, "I shouldn't feel x,y or z" - so I feel bad doubly.
Shadows have sharp edges. So I completely agree, go slow and only do what you can tolerate. Flooding is never good.
poster:Daisym
thread:843105
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/843275.html